If i come over, it means nothing
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
