last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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