Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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