You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
