To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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