After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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