I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
