I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
