i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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