she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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