i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
