Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I love you. Go after that dick
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