her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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