You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
