what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
