He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
