It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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