you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
