U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
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