How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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