I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
