She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
