I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize