just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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