chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
