friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You need Xanax blowdarts
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
