Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
