i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
