do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
