hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
