i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
