I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
