Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
