Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
