She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
