spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
