remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
