2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can't put those talents on a resume
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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