so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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