HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
