And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
