i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
