if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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