stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
