i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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