no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
