so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
