My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
