In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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