I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
