I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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