great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
NoShamevember. You game?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize