Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
