So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
