I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I am available for nakedness
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
