Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
A+ Viking dick
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
