My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
