Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
