Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
