apparently the secret to your success is patron
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
