What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Vodka?
Forever.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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