Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
