look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
